you guys were way drunker than both of me
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
