Christians are straight up FREAKS
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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