Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
