Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
