I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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