Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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