Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
this boner is exhausting
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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