Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
