I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
