Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
YAS. BRING CRAB.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
