I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
