is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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