Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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