That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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