Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
