Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
