its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
