Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
operation harelip BJ is a go
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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