Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
