so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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