SEEEEXXX PLEASE
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Randomize
