Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
