I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
