I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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