Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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