last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
