i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize