Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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