Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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