so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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