I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
