Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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