i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
