I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I think my fart just growled at me.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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