All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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