the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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