i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
