You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize