you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
