3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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