The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
