ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Enjoy the penises
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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