we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
