Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
my poor anus
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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