oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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