ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
