Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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