I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
