I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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