Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
