I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
