Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
