I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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