Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize