Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
