I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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