There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
