do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
