come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
