Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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