I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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