I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
